Reboot of Doom

Here we are, April 16, over 1/3 of the way through 2010 already.  I am revisiting my word of the year (“Metamorphosis”) and applying some of Havi’s Metaphor Mouse technique to an area where I want to see some change in my life this year.

An area I would like to grow in is that of physical activity/movement.  A close friend has taken up triathlons, and when we are able to talk in person, he tells me about his rigorous training schedule.  I am impressed by how he managed to fit in the training with everything else he has on his schedule, and I mentioned in passing that occasionally I have a desire to take my physical activity a step beyond what I already do.

He asked why I never have, opening a whole can of worms.  Weight and body image were always an issue growing up, and I always felt judged by my size and food choices.  Good was small body, small portions, the right foods.  Bad was anything else. 

But there was a mixed message in there.  Bad was also an over-developed interest in what my body looked like and what I ate.  I can still tell you the story of the one cousin who left his wife because he got into bodybuilding and became so “narcissistic” that he had no time for anyone else.  And I’m not even going into how my daughter went anorexic just as I began my weight loss journey.

Suffice it to say, there are issues.  But I still have dreams of having a body that is flexible and strong, and feeling light and un-self-conscious in it.

So where’s the problem?  I have worked out before, I even have had that body, if for a short time, in the recent past.  I have no desire to compete in a triathlon, or even a marathon (I much prefer yoga or weight-lifting to running).  But what I don’t have (what I perceive I don’t have) is discipline.

Even the word makes me cringe.  Discipline.  Dry, hard, boring, no way out, discipline.  Makes me stop dead in my tracks, better than almost anything else I know.

Enter Metaphor Mouse.  Havi asks, “What are the qualities, aspects and attributes of the thing” both those that aren’t working and those that are?

Discipline=

• judgmental
• imposed from the outside
• have to (“should”)
• serious
• humorless
• inflexible
• punishment
• routine
• boring
• duty
• no options
• joyless
• dry
• better than
• rigid (same as inflexible?)

Looking at this list, about the only thing I find working for me is “routine”, in the good way of “do a little every day and see big results over time” (with a slight problem at “over time”).  What bothers me most is the lack of humor/joy, lack of flexibility and the judgmentalism inherent in the word.

What qualities I am looking for/are missing=

• fun
• flexibility
• freedom
• reward
• choice
• freedom
• sovereignty
• acceptance (opposite of judgmental, maybe encouragement?)

I am having a hard time coming up with a different word, but I found this link, also at Havi’s blog, and one of the words/phrases that pops up for “sovereignty” is “self-determination”.

It’s not quite a metaphor, but it works for the moment. It contains the qualities of flexibility and choice that are missing from “discipline”, and returns the power to me, which is what the “d” word kept me from seeing.

Here’s to Self-Determination!

Little Steps

I read with amusement this article at MSN.com, about how Starbucks is increasing prices on their drinks to reflect the amount of steps each barista needs to put in when creating the beverage.  I was amused because every so often an article on saving money pops up with advice like “cutting out a premium beverage a day will save you x amount of dollars over the course of a year.”  The first thing that popped into my mind was “Wow, now I can save even more every year!”

Of course I’d have to buy that premium drink to save that money. 

This principle is also brought up when someone is writing about diet and lifestyle changes.  “Eliminate a pat of butter a day and you’ll save 30,000 calories during the course of a year” (exaggeration purely mine, I do not have time to do the math for you; here are the numbers to use if you’re so inclined:  pat of butter = 100 calories x 1 year/365 days).  Great idea, wonderful plan.  But what if you don’t eat butter at all?  Shouldn’t you already be that much thinner? I wish it worked that way. :)

The key is to analyze what you do eat, and to gradually introduce little changes that lead to big results.  I learned this during my weight loss journey. 

Instead of white bread, I started buying whole wheat breads. 

Instead of white flour, I began using white whole wheat flour.

Instead of pasta or rice as a base for sauces, I began using a large bowl of salad.  This is also a great way to increase your fruit/vegetable count, and there are a variety of greens out there to choose from.  Right now I have been enjoying kale greens as my base.  Adding the filler of the salad also satisfies my need to chew, and fills my tummy.  I don’t feel deprived when eating this way, and I am getting needed fiber and vitamins so my body will be healthy.

I didn’t make all of these changes overnight, but unlike all of the other times I would start a diet at the beginning of the week , beginning of the year, beginning of the day, they became habit, and the pounds came off and stayed off. 

And just think of all the art supplies new clothes you can buy with the money you save on the premium drinks! 

Wishcasting Wednesday

Every Wednesday, Jamie Ridler asks "what do you wish?" This week's theme is "What do you wish to embrace?"

This is only the second time I have answered her question on my blog, not because the questions are not intriguing, nor because I don't have any wishes, but primarily because I always feel like "What if I choose the wrong thing?"

This week, the answer came immediately. I wish to embrace uncertainty. I have been running from uncertainty for over three years, and it turned into a long range marathon in December of 2006. I am stopping now, and turning to face uncertainty, embrace her and welcome her into my life. Because, really, no matter how certain we think we are about our future plans, what we are going to do tomorrow, even today, that certainty can be swept away at a moment's notice. Life happens, jobs are lost, people get sick. Good things can happen unexpectedly as well. It's all part of the uncertainty.

So this week, my wish is to embrace uncertainty, and to enjoy the journey.