Monday, January 7, 2008

Volume Two

Several years ago I did an online healing doll class with Barb Kobe. While I never did complete the class (life got in the way and when you make art for your living, making art for yourself sometimes takes the back seat). I did get my shadow doll done, and she has sat in my studio this whole time. I thought I would hate her, but I found myself having compassion for this constantly needy side of myself, with her constant screaming for more, her pig nose, her blobby body. Everything I felt was bad about myself.

Yesterday, while working in the studio, a car went by, and I heard a rattle begin. When I looked, it was the doll, sitting on top of my printers drawers. I moved her to next to my sewing machine, and the rattle stopped. But as I looked at her, I realized she was no longer complete. At the time I made her, she expressed all my rage and anger at my bad qualities, but now I found I am ready to love all of myself, even those parts that may not be pleasant. It is time to love my shadow.


Lisa said...

Love this post! And, as always, love your beading.

Andi said...

Thank you :)